说 "不 "的力量

‘Every time we say yes to a request, we are also saying no to anything else we might accomplish with the time’

每当我们对一个请求说 "是 "的时候，我们也就对我们可能利用时间完成的其他事情说 "不"。

Every year I seem to have the same resolution: say “no” more often. Despite my black belt in economics-fu, it’s an endless challenge. But economics does tell us a little about why “no” is such a difficult word, why it’s so important — and how to become better at saying it.

每年我似乎都有同样的决心：更经常地说 "不"。尽管我有经济学的黑带，但这是一个无尽的挑战。但经济学确实告诉我们一些关于为什么 "不 "是一个如此困难的词，为什么它如此重要--以及如何变得更善于说 "不"。

Let’s start with why it’s hard to say “no”. One reason is something we economists, with our love of simple, intuitive language, call “hyperbolic discounting”. What this means is that the present moment is exaggerated in our thoughts. When somebody asks, “Will you volunteer to be school governor?” it is momentarily uncomfortable to refuse, even if it will save much more trouble later. To say “yes” is to warm ourselves in a brief glow of immediate gratitude, heedless of the later cost.

让我们先来看看为什么很难说 "不"。其中一个原因是我们经济学家喜欢简单、直观的语言，称之为 "双曲折现"。这意味着，在我们的思想中，当下被夸大了。当有人问："你愿意自愿做学校的校长吗？"拒绝会让人一时感到不舒服，即使这样做以后会省去很多麻烦。说 "好 "是为了在短暂的感激之情中温暖自己，而无视以后的代价。

A psychological tactic to get around this problem is to try to feel the pain of “yes” immediately, rather than at some point to be specified later. If only we could feel instantly and viscerally our eventual annoyance at having to keep our promises, we might make fewer foolish promises in the first place.

绕过这个问题的一个心理战术是试图立即感受到 "是 "的痛苦，而不是在以后的某个时间点上明确。如果我们能够立即和直观地感受到我们最终对不得不遵守承诺的恼怒，我们可能会在一开始就少做一些愚蠢的承诺。

One trick is to ask, “If I had to do this today, would I agree to it?” It’s not a bad rule of thumb, since any future commitment, no matter how far away it might be, will eventually become an imminent problem.

一个诀窍是问："如果我今天必须做这件事，我会同意吗？"这不是一个坏的经验法则，因为任何未来的承诺，无论它有多远，最终都会成为一个迫在眉睫的问题。

Here’s a more extreme version of the same principle. Adopt a rule that no new task can be deferred: if accepted, it must be the new priority. Last come, first served. The immediate co...